Firstly, I am only half of this equation. I am the half that procrastinates and rushes through right up to the deadline, let’s say I work well under pressure. I am the half that spazzes out but remains calm at the same time. I am the half that is feeling very drawn to write this today. 

My husband is my other half. He is the do it now-er. He is the work hard to work harder, although he’s working on the harder part. He is the strong and capable. The man that can literally fix anything, even if he only watched 1 YouTube video. 

Together, we have a YouTube channel, Breaking New Roots, where we share our journey. From farming to family to major changes. And change has occurred.

After having our second child we needed a break. And not a cute little pause but an all out hault. We sold everything we owned, and all the debt and stress that went along with it. We now live in a van down by the river, only half joking, and are traveling to find a new farm, somewhere with cows and a view (mountains, trees, and yes, cows). 

But for me, there’s something more going on under the surface… 

Have you ever felt like maybe you have always wanted to do something but it felt so unrealistic that you wouldn’t even let the little voice in your head say it in-loud? Like maybe you aren’t good enough to do the thing or don’t have the experience for it. 

My bachelor's degree is in Animal Science, my masters in Business Administration. I was taught how to do the physical work. I would laugh at my teachers in high school when they would say “You need to write this paper to prepare for all the papers you’ll write in college.” I think I wrote like 2, maybe 3, papers in all the years I was enrolled in higher education. 

After I became a mom full time, I found myself reading books, lots of them. I was tired of the negativity on tv. It was always high suspense and full of drama. I would watch sesame street with my 3 week old; justifying that it was for his development. I now realize it was for mine. Post-partum depression creeping up and entering my dreams without my permission.  

I have gravitated toward memoirs, self reflection, mainly anything non-fiction that is from someone’s perspective. Late one night, I was half asleep but still reading my latest book. I think it was about a guy hiking the Appalachian trail. As I waited for someone to get eaten by a bear or a ax murderer to hack this guy to pieces I realized something quite profound. Anyone can write a book about anything. Even this guy. He didn’t hike the whole trail. But I was enthralled and there wasn’t a single bear or ax murderer.

Maybe I could write a book?? 

So with that, here is my first step. I love to write. I love to share my thoughts, collected and precise. For me, writing helps me process what is going on in my head. I can edit it, change a word to change the emotion, add backstory or description. 

I also love to have meaningful conversations about hard topics, and I’m not talking about the types of conversations that are attacked by Facebook trolls.

The comments are turned on here and I would love to hear what your thoughts are on this. 

If you’ve made it this far. Thank you! I will bring you stories and anecdotes. I’m not sure how often they will come but I want to keep writing. I want to get better!! Maybe one day I’ll write a book. But for now, I have to start somewhere. And here, I am.